In Grade 8, I was a superstar because I knew about a dozen “big” words. They made me seem smart and impressed my teachers, although much to my surprise very few girls noticed (or cared) that I knew how to use a word like vociferous or plethora. Of course, the bullies noticed and ensured that I was subjected to a plethora of vociferous mocking. In university, fancy pants language was rewarded for about a year before I was told to drop my growing collection of big words because they were pompous and unnecessary. My English prof would repeat day after day that we should never use a big word where a small word would do. The same message was presented when I entered the work force- keep it simple, because big words don’t impress anyone.
As my readers know, I’m not very good at following this advice. I tend to throw around lots of florid fancy words, and I was recently called to task by a reader for my use of the word “prodigiously“. Even so, keeping my writing concise simple is on my personal to do list, somewhere below “Learn to sew” but above “Develop a kickass strategy for rock paper scissors”. But every now and then, I get reminded that using words that are too simple can be just as bad as being a lexiphane tool who uses big words.
Take this recent conversation I had with massage therapist:
Massage Therapist: So where do you work?
MGL: [Describes the tech company he works for]
MT: Wow! There are a lot of companies in this city that people just don’t know what they do. Did you know that [name of company] does lots of work for NASA?
MGL: I did not know that.
MT: Yeah! Their products are used by the space men on their suits.
Space men. SPACE MEN. Not astronauts, not cosmonauts, not sky cowboys, but SPACE MEN. At first I thought he was making a little joke, like calling the internet “teh interwebs”, or Fox News “journalism”, but as I stared incredulously blankly at him it became apparent that this was his preferred term for those who travel into space. I suddenly didn’t feel very comfortable letting him fix my neck, or as he might call it, “the thingy what holds up my brain box”.
The moral? While it’s good to avoid using huge words as though you’re Rex Murphy or Conrad Black, using language that is too simple can make you seem about as smart as a bag of Cheetos. As in all things, balance is key.
Post Script No. 1- My wife and I had a prolonged debate over whether the civilians aboard Battlestar Galactica and the Colonial Fleet were in fact astronauts. She says they are because they travel in space, I said no because I think the term “astronaut” implies one who actively explores space as a primary task, not one who is in space incidental to other activities.
Post Script No. 2 - In the non-science fiction world, astronaut is defined by the Fédération Aéronautique Internationale as one who has traveled about the Karman Line, 100 kilometers above the Earth’s surface. However, the United States sets the boundary at 80 km.
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(Geek on) I would consider the civilians on BSG to be fleeing for their lives and not exploring space as their primary pursuit so call them nomads by necessity. Still grumbling about the 2nd hour of the finale though (geek off).
Maybe he was talking about Dr. Spaceman from 30 Rock?
Great blog, love your sideways view of things.
Conrad Black is so totally over the top with the words he uses.
I watched an interview with him and just about fell off my seat laughing.
To me, it shows an enormous amount of insecurity.
Simple is best, I think.