Re-gifting is always a sensitive subject. In fact, aside from discussions about Israel or abortion, you’re unlikely to find a more divisive topic to discuss around your holiday dinner table. Proponents of the regift promote it as efficient and harmless, a Bentham-esque, utilitarian approach to holiday presents, while detractors slander it as tacky, cheap and rude. But there’s one point both sides of the table can agree on- not all gifts are appropriate for all people. Take, for example, an early Christmas gift my wife recently received by way of a “secret Santa” gift exchange- a red betta fish in a cute little green aquarium.
Now I should state upfront that I thought this was a wonderfully thoughtful and creative gift, the type of gift that truly impresses me with its originality. The parameters for the exchange were simple- the gift had to be inexpensive and it had to be red. My wife gave an assortment of red candy, while another friend came up with the idea of this little red fishy. Again, a fantastic idea. Fantastic, that is, if someone else had been the recipient. You see, wifey and I have a home that is thoroughly unsuitable for a vulnerable little fish, as it is a home prowled by two inquisitive and predatory cats. Hence, our new aquatic friend has been named Cat Food*. Quite apropos, don’t you think?
It’s not that we want to see little Cat Food live up to his moniker, we just view it as an inevitable conclusion to this saga. We have tried to come up with creative ways to keep him safe, but unfortunately our cats are quite accomplished climbers and surprisingly adept at fishing. Even the closed lid on the mini-aquarium doesn’t offer sufficient safety, as our clever cats have learned that tipping a container (or pushing it off a table) will often release the goodies inside. The poor little guy doesn’t really stand a chance. So rather than subjecting Cat Food to the fate of being eaten by a cat (which, to steal a line from Homer J., is “just like falling asleep… in a giant blender”), a few days after Christmas we hope to host a Regiftmas Party where our group of friends can offer and exchange those items that just don’t suit the giftee, including Cat Food- assuming that he lasts that long. Hopefully he can find the home he deserves.
The moral? Regifting isn’t just okay, but is actually sometimes a moral imperative.
* Technically, this would be Cat Food II. The original Cat Food was a goldfish that served as a centerpiece at a wedding we attended and which was given to us to take home. After several feline attempts at eating Cat Food, he was promptly given to (or, depending on the version of the story you believe, seized by) my niece for safekeeping.
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If ever there was a case for regifting, this is it!
Oh, my goodness, that made me laugh! Does that make me completely heartless?
I was thinking about getting a goldfish for the kids (Simon being a BIG fan on “Finding Nemo”), but we have the same problem. Come to think of it, if the cats knocked the bowl over, it would be a toss-up whether it would end up as Cat Food or Curious Baby Food… Maybe not a good idea.
Good luck to you (and especially to CF-2) on the regifting! (and I think the party’s a great idea, btw)